Palin Pushes Party Platform in Pensacola

Sarah Palin made a campaign stop here in Pensacola today. The Grand Old Party has a brand new star. A couple of months ago, do you think one local Joseph P. Sixpack could have picked the Governor of Alaska out of a lineup? I doubt it. But today they filled the Civic Center don’t cha’ know.

Even our very own Governor Charlie “The Silver Fox” Crist is able to get past the disappointment of not being selected for the VP spot. He puts on a brave face and points out several things he admires about his rival. Or perhaps he’s pointing out the “white after Labor Day” problem. Either way, it explains the grin.

They say the bandaged hand is from a jogging fall. Do you buy that? There was a minor hubbub at debate time about it but don’t you feel there has got to be a better story. Clawed while wrestlin’ a grizzly. Bruised while poundin’ the glass at the hockey rink. Frostbite from a double top secret mission across the Bering Straight. Playtime with the “first dude” got out of hand. Wrench slipped while rebuilding the transmission on the Straight Talk Express. Something. Anything besides “I fell down”.

She’s a former basketball player and beauty queen for goodness sake. She should be halfway coordinated. She didn’t just fall down. I think they tried to take her out. I think some nervous Republicans were unhappy with Mrs. Hot Mom and wanted her off the ticket by any means necessary. But I think they underestimated her and found themselves up against and Alaskan Rambo. I think she left those nervous Republicans writhing in pain somewhere in the Alaskan wilderness and all she got was a little scratch on her palm. Now, every time she waves, she flashes the bandage as a warning. “Stand back or this hot mom will go medieval on you. That goes for you too Mr. Crist.”

The Pensacola News Journal article about the visit: “Palin Wows Pensacola”