Warning: Do not let small children read the following. 😉

There was a conversation this weekend. A tooth was lost. A joke was made. I pushed a snowball down a hill.

My older daughter lost a tooth on Saturday. She’s known the “truth” about the Tooth Fairy for a while but to her credit she hasn’t spoiled the fantasy for her younger sister. For that reason, I guess my wife and I should feel bad about the joke we played. But we don’t.

Like I said. The older, all knowing child lost a tooth. The younger, all innocent child was excited for her older sister because the Tooth Fairy was going to pay her a visit. Sweet little sister. The older played along. But later, out of earshot of her younger, sweet sister, the older sister somewhat smugly let the wife and I know how how cool she thought it was that she still got money for teeth even though she knew the “truth”. Then she bounced her smug self out of the room. Oh really. My wife thinks maybe it’s time for a “teaching moment.” I think it’s time for a funny.

That night, instead of putting the Tooth Fairy money under smug big sister’s pillow, we put it under sweet little sister’s pillow. For big sister, we fashioned a handwritten note. The note read, “Since you don’t believe in me any more, I’m giving your money to your little sister. Signed, The Tooth Fairy”.

The next morning, little sis comes out of her room with a big smile on her face and a dollar in her hand. “Where did this come from?”

We fought back the smiles. “My. That’s strange. We have no idea where that came from. Go ask your sister. Maybe she knows something about it.”

A few minutes later, big sis stomps up to the front of the house with a scowl on her face and a handwritten note in her hand. “This is so unfair!” She reads the note out loud in an “Are you serious!?” tone of voice and then glares at us. Little sis is a little confused but she smiles, shrugs her shoulders, and puts the money in her purse. My wife and I can’t hold back the laughter any longer. The laughing makes big sis throw up her arms and reemphasize the piercing glare. That makes little sis even more confused. Maybe it’s time for a little talk. So here we go. I sat her on my lap.

“So what do your friends say about the tooth fairy?”

“Some think she’s real. But some don’t.”

“What do you think?”

“Is it you guys?”

“What do you think?”

“I think it’s you and mommy.”

“Yes it is.”

Wow, that was easy. She wasn’t even upset. She just had some follow up questions about our methods like “Where do you put the teeth?” Good one. Then she sat quietly for a minute and we thought she was thinking about the next Tooth Fairy question. But instead she rared back and delivered a wicked curve ball of a question. “What about Santa Clause?” Whoa. The big one. Guess I should have seen the curve coming but it caught me flat footed. I look at my wife and she gives me the okay. Little sis is the same age as older sis was when she found out about the Jolly Old Elf. So why not. I begin again.

“Well, what do you think about Santa?”

“Is it you guys?”

“What do you think?”

“I think it’s you and mommy.”

“Yes it is.”

A look of wonder appeared on her face as she started putting it all together. A little sad. A little happy. A little confused. It’s a lot to take in. But she was okay. Later, after a brief question and answer period about the logistics of the Santa ruse, we went ahead and killed off the Easter Bunny too. That one wasn’t too bad. Not even any questions. Guess she’s not a big fan of peeps.

Just to be safe, we gave a little warning about not spoiling the Tooth Fairy/Santa Clause/Easter Bunny thing for her friends who still believed. We tried to make up to Jamie by telling her how proud we were of her for not spoiling it for her sister for the past few years. I think she still would have preferred cash. And then we all went on with our day. But this subject would raise it’s imaginary head again.

That afternoon, little sis had a friend over to play for a couple of hours. They had fun and apparently had a little talk. Guess what subject came up while they were playing? After her friend left, little sis came up to me in the kitchen and informs me that her friend doesn’t believe in Santa either. “What did you tell her?” I asked slowly with more than a small dose of accusation in my voice. I was already trying to come up with something to tell a couple of angry parents in an upcoming phone call. “No, no.” little sis said. “She knew. Her parents had told her already.” Whew. Crises averted. But the wheels were still turning in that beautiful little mind because then she says, and I quote,

“I do have another question.”

“What is it?”

“Are you God?”

I just choked back a laugh and said, “What do you think?”