Furious Fireflies

Plan B

Brian — Sun, 29 Apr 2012 14:32:50 +0000

Plan B

This morning’s adventure. Snake in the backyard. Somewhere between 2 and 10 feet long. I’m pretty sure it was a Black Mamba. Or maybe a Black Racer. I don’t know. It happened so fast.

I let the dog out this morning to do that thing she does. She’s in the middle of doing that thing she does when she sees the snake and suddenly bark/yelps and runs away. (That’s my dog.) I look up and see the slithering creature for a split second and then it takes off… into the shed! Great. Of all places. It’s full of stuff and more importantly, that’s where the weapons are.

When I was a kid, these situations were taken care of with a hoe. Big ugly snake comes around and someone shows up with a hoe to remove the business end of the snake from the rest of its body. End of threat. I need to get in there and get my hoe.

I poke my head in and look around. No visual on the serpent. So I ease into the shed and step over the lawnmower and beach gear and bikes, watching every foot placement as I creep to the back of the shed where hoe type things are kept. I make it safely. And then, it dawns on me… I don’t own a hoe. Don’t judge me.

But I’m already deep in the snake den so I pick up a plastic tube thingy that’s leaning in the corner and I start poking around. Julie is out in the yard at a safe distance but can see what I’m doing.

“What are you doing?” she asks. Less than lovingly than you would expect from a wife whose husband is taking charge of a dangerous situation.

“Trying to find it.” I say.

“Then what?” she says. Then (and I’m not making this up) she adds… “What’s the plan Phil?”

My wife is a funny lady. And she’s right. I need a plan. So I put down the plastic tube thingy and come inside to formulate a plan. Here’s what I’ve come up with.

Step 1: Eat breakfast. I can’t think on an empty stomach.

Step 2: Rationalize. The snake is more than likely harmless. The little guy is probably taking care of bugs and mice for me, so just let him be. Do nothing. Not because I’m scared to death of snakes mind you. But because I believe all creatures are here for a reason and should be treated with dignity and respect. No seriously, that’s the reason.

Step 3: Drive to Home Depot and buy a hoe. Just in case I’m wrong about Step 2.

Brian L Butler

I Am The TV People

Brian — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 14:23:20 +0000

I Am The TV People

It’s October 8th, 1988. It’s my first day working in television and I’m surrounded by around 70,000 people. Mistakes are made. Thousands of people are upset. What should have been a miserable day, turns out to be one of the best days of my life.

Turner Broadcasting came to Tuscaloosa on a beautiful Fall weekend to broadcast the University of Alabama homecoming game against the Ole Miss Rebels. At the time, I had already abandoned one or maybe two other majors and was trying on the Communications department for size. Film and Television track to be specific. A week or two before, the Turner people contacted the department looking for production assistants for the game. People to help set up, break down and be gophers during the game. Sounded like fun and the fact they were going to actually pay us made it sound even better.

We met the day before the game at Bryant-Denny stadium. Maybe 8 to 10 Communications students and the Turner crew. We all got cool TBS Sports t-shirts and some brief instructions. What to do, where to go, and a call for a couple of volunteers. Two of the students would be “in charge” of a sideline. One for Alabama. One for Ole Miss. I wasn’t even sure what was meant by “in charge” but I volunteered anyway. So did one other guy but for some reason I can’t quite remember, he was given the Alabama sideline and I was given Ole Miss. I was a little ticked about not getting the Tide side but I had to roll with it.

The next day we get to the field a couple of hours before game time and starting setting up. At one point the TBS commentators for the game came down to the field and walked around checking things out and talking to us. I remember at the time being a little star struck meeting them. But now I can’t remember who they were. I need to look that up.

It turns out the “in charge” duties were actually pretty cool, especially for a television newbie. I would be on headsets on a long cable (Not quite long enough. More on that later) and would be the on field communication to the booth and truck from the Ole Miss sideline. I wouldn’t be on-air but I would report back to the truck anything going on on the sidelines that was worth mentioning. Injuries and things like that. I did have one other thing I was responsible for. A seemingly simple thing. You know when the players burst out of the tunnel before the game and storm the field. Well for televised games, that needs to happen when the cameras are rolling and ready, so somebody actually has to “cue” them. Guess who.

Earlier, while things were relatively calm, I got some brief instructions about releasing the Rebels. After the Tide is introduced and takes the field, the director would tell me to cue Ole Miss and they would take the field. Got it. Simple.

We finish getting everything set up for the game. The stands are packed. The stadium is electric. It’s finally time to get this party started. I put on my headset and I feel like I’m on top of the world. Through the chatter of the director and camera operators, I’m told it’s time to get in position to cue the team. I start to head down to the corner of the field where the Ole Miss players are gathering and as I’m walking I feel a jerk and I’m stopped in my tracks. I turn and realize the cable is stuck. I walk back a little to un-stick it and discover the real problem. It’s too short. From the end of the cable, I’m about 20 yards from the Ole Miss players waiting on the field. Uh oh.

Then I hear the introduction of the Crimson Tide. I can’t see the players but the crowd roars. As the roar dies down, the director tells me to cue the Rebels. I start waving my arms at the players trying to get their attention and telling them to go. It’s not working. I wave more frantically. Nobody sees me. The director starts yelling in the headset Go! Go!. I yell back that the cable is not long enough. I can’t get to the team. He screams back for me to drop the &*^%$!! headset and get the team on the field!

I rip off the headset and run to the players. I grab the first guy and tell him to GO! The guy looks down at me with wild eyes and tells me they can’t go until the TV people tell them to go. I reach down and grab my shirt pulling up the TBS logo so he can see it and yell, I AM THE TV PEOPLE! GO! The team takes off and I’m almost trampled.

I run back over and put on my headset and start apologizing. The director, somewhat more politely but firmly, tells me to shut the hell up! It’s over. Move on. So I moved on.

And I had to move on quickly. Between trying to pay attention to the field from behind the bench, scanning the sideline for anything worth reporting and trying to pay attention to and decipher the language of the production people in my ear, the first half was a blur. At halftime, I exhaled.

The second half also moved quickly but I was able to settle down and take everything in. There was an injury at one point and I told the guys in the booth and let them know the trainers were icing the guy’s knee on the bench. They said thanks and keep us updated. I will do that, I thought. I will keep you updated. I felt important. The day was beautiful. The stadium was rocking. I had found my groove. It was a beautiful day in Tuscaloosa. Then the strangest thing happened.

It was late in the game. Only a few minutes left. And suddenly, something happened on the field that got my sideline very, very excited. The players around me were jumping and screaming and going crazy. But the stands were eerily quite. Then I started getting instructions in my ear. They were telling me if this score held up, as soon as the game ended, I needed to find Ole Miss head coach Billy Brewer and get him to midfield for the post game interview. Ole Miss had taken the lead.

But I didn’t have time to process it because I started freaking out a little about this new responsibility. Which one was coach Brewer? What do I say when I find him? Do I keep my headset on when I go get him? No, that’s dumb. Calm down Brian. Let’s try that breathing thing again. Nothing to worry about. Besides, the game’s not over yet.

But in the last few minutes the Alabama comeback attempt failed and Ole Miss scored again. The game was indeed over and I had a job to do. My adrenaline was pumping. Players were going crazy. People and press came from everywhere and we all poured onto the field. Do you have any idea how hard it is to locate one person in the middle of that chaos? But I fought my way through and was able to catch up to coach Brewer just as he was shaking hands with Alabama coach Bill Curry.

I took coach Brewer by the arm and led him to midfield. As we walked we were surrounded by players and media and I congratulated him on the win. For years I had a VHS tape of the game with the shot of me walking with him. I wish I knew what happened to that tape. Coach put on a headset and was interviewed by the guys in the booth. It lasted a couple of minutes and then it was over. See. Nothing to worry about.

We still had a couple of hours of breaking down to do but even that went quickly because I was still pumped up from the excitement. When we finally did finish, we got our checks and I headed home. And I was in for a little shock.

My apartment was in walking distance of the stadium. I practically bounced home and instead of going to my place, I went to the apartment downstairs where we all gathered after games. I popped through the door and… the place was like a morgue. A group of depressed friends sat around the room, beers in hand, not saying a word. I sat down and it was then I started to process what I couldn’t process earlier. We, The Alabama Crimson Tide, had just lost our homecoming game to Ole Miss. Going back to 1900, the Rebels had never beaten Alabama in the state of Alabama. Never. And it was homecoming. This was an upset that was very upsetting.

And I should have been upset too. If I had been sitting in the stands for the game, like I was every Saturday, I would have been depressed. But I wasn’t. The day was too much fun. In spite of, and partially because of, my screw-ups and inexperience. I was inside the same stadium, watching the same game but I had a much different experience. Television changes things. Changes what you see and how you see, whether you’re making it or watching it. Sometimes for better, sometimes for worse.

Turns out, television production is not always that much fun and the day to day didn’t hold my attention very long. I changed majors 2 or 3 more times and bounced around a couple of other jobs and didn’t get back into television until 10 years later. Oddly enough, sports was once again the reason although that’s not what I do now. I’ve been working in TV for over 12 year now and while I’ve had some fun, I have yet to have another day like that Saturday in October.

Brian L Butler

On the Subject of Nudes

Brian — Fri, 29 Jul 2011 12:53:14 +0000

On The Subject of Nudes

I’ve decided to change my photographic focus a bit. I’m going to experiment with some new areas. Expand my horizons. The first expansion will involve shooting nudes. Very tasteful. Very artistic. There’s a long and respected tradition of the nude form in photography and I think I can contribute something. I’ll start with images of my lovely wife and then begin looking for other models. So I’ll start with this image of Julie in…….Hold on a minute….

Yes dear…
…what!?…
…but I’ve already started…..
…but we talked about this….yes we did…
…are you sure?…i coulda’ sworn…but…if you’d just…
…just calm down and I’ll…no it’s not like that…
…tasteful, I said tasteful….very artsy…black and white…
…yes it does matter…it’s all in the lighting…
…what do you mean you don’t care….
…honey, it’s art…beauty…tradition…but…just…
…you’re a beautiful woman and I thought…but why not…
…why should your friends and family care….embarrassed how…
…NO, I AM NOT BEING STUPID!…IT’S ART!…
…sorry…no more yelling…how about this…just listen for a minute…
…what if I start with other people first?…
…I met this woman yesterday and…OWWW! THAT HURT!…
…FINE!

Well, apparently I’ll have to find another horizon to expand. Until then, here’s another stupid sunset. Hope you have a great weekend. I won’t. **

Sun Catchers - Image by Brian L Butler

**The tale above was originally posted about 5 years ago on my old photoblog. The subject came up again this week while bouncing through 500px. (By subject I mean the merits of nude photography, not my participation in the craft:) There are hundreds of wonderful images with a fair share of amazing nudes in the mix. A glorious subject when done well.

Also reconnected with the über talented Vernon Trent through 500px and Google+. If you’re looking for examples of the human form as high art, along with other breathtaking subjects, check out VernonTrent.com.

Brian L Butler

Life from a Cell: New Orleans Edition

Brian — Sun, 24 Jul 2011 22:13:42 +0000

I can’t, not shoot. And when I travel, doubly not. And in a place where the sensory stimulation can be every bit as intoxicating as a Hurricane on Bourbon, not shooting in New Orleans would actually cause me physical pain. The photographic DTs. But this particular trip to the Big Easy was different.

Different and special because it was a weekend getaway with the one I love. The problem is, I’m not a social shooter. When I’m in “serious” shooting mode, interaction and conversation with other human beings is difficult. So I have to make a conscious decision about what exactly I’m going to focus on. My companion, or the viewfinder. This weekend was all about spending time with my beautiful wife so I decided I would put down the viewfinder and enjoy the view.

But that didn’t mean I wouldn’t shoot. I reached a small compromise with myself. No “serious” shooting but instead I would play with a new passion of mine. Shooting with my cell phone. So that’s what I did. If something caught my eye during those times I wasn’t making googly eyes at Julie, I’d do a quick composure and capture with my ever present and relatively unobtrusive ‘droid and quickly move on. I like some of what I came away with and these are a few of the those images. I love the vintage camera app “Vignette” for Android and I love diptychs so that’s what you see here.

It was really an amazing weekend. It rained on and off for most of the time we were there and it was beautiful. Ducking in and out of shops and restaurants with Julie. Umbrellas floating through the air. Shimmering streets. July temps knocked down by a good ten degrees. Loved it.

Evening one, we had an excellent dinner with friends followed by a night of debauchery on Bourbon. Later on, through the wonders of social media, we found out some other friends were in town for a concert so after the concert they met us out for more dancing, drinking and laughing on the city’s most famous strip of pavement. Bourbon Street is what it is so we did what we did and it was what it was. And that’s all I have to say about that.

The next night we had dinner and music and late night coffee on my favorite street in New Orleans. Frenchmen is fantastic. The music and the atmosphere energizes and relaxes me at the same time. That, plus I absolutely love being in a place where poetry busking exists. Kinda’ sums up what’s cool about Frenchmen.

I’ll finish with a triptych from another one of the highlights of the trip. The Faulkner House in Pirate Alley. There’s a little story there but I’ll save that for another day. Magical place.

Lagniappe: Some of my “serious” shooting from previous trips to New Orleans can be found in my “Off the Handle” gallery on Panhandlin.com.

The Jazz Singer: Discovering Meschiya Lake

Brian — Wed, 20 Jul 2011 21:34:53 +0000

The Loose Marbles at Fritzel's - (image by Brian L Butler)

The Jazz Singer: Discovering Meschiya Lake

The first time I experienced the Loose Marbles was a couple of years ago while walking around the Quarter with my good friend Eddie. An excellent experience it was.

The Loose Marbles are a loose band of throwback musicians who bring 20′s and 30′s style jazz roaring back in the streets of New Orleans (and New York) and occasionally play in local clubs. Members float in and out depending on the day and the place and they have a fashion sense that could be affectionately described as vintage-vagrant. But the music and the swing dancing that surrounds it is outstanding. We saw them busking during the day and then playing at Fritzel’s that night. The photo above is one I took that evening. Still love what they do but they are not the point of this post.

When I got home from that trip, I was craving some more so I Googled and YouTubed and found some videos of the group. Mostly just hand-held street shots but there was one video that changed the focus of my search. It was the band playing on Royal with a female singer. A singer that blew me away. This is that video. We’ll pick up the story after you watch.

So after I saw that, I had to find out who she was. More Googling turned up the name Meschiya Lake (pronounced ma-shee’-ya). I couldn’t find out much about her at the time but I was fascinated and decided I would try to see her sing in person the next time I was in NOLA. In the street. In a club. Wherever.

That was two years ago. I’ve been back to the city a couple of times but circumstances and schedules didn’t cooperate so we never crossed paths. In that time though, Meschiya’s career started to take off. I found her Facebook fan page a while back and started following her. She released an album last year called Lucky Devil and sings with a band called The Little Big Horns, which I’m sure has connections to the Marbles. But they seem a little more polished as you can see in this video from a few months ago. Lovely, powerful and passionate music.

I’m not sure if she still plays the streets but she’s always playing local clubs when she’s in town. And she travels the country and the world playing but I’m not sure you’d say she’s “made it” yet. Which gets me closer to the point of this post. But first, something cool happened a few days ago.

Meschiya Lake at the Spotted Cat - (image by Brian L Butler)

I finally got to see her perform live. Julie and I spent a wonderful long weekend in the Big Easy and Saturday night spent the entire evening wandering in and out of clubs up and down Frenchmen Street topped off by Mescheiya Lake and the Little Big Horns at The Spotted Cat. The place was packed but fortune and Julie flirting with the bouncer got us right next to the stage. Loved the show, bought the album and thought that was that.

But once again, when I got home I was craving some more so I Googled and YouTubed and among other things, here’s what I found. There’s a documentary in the works about Meschiya. True Family: The voice of Meschiya Lake is in post production. Oh hell yes. The trailer looks so good I can’t wait. Check it out.

But it looks like I will have to wait for a little while. Which finally brings me to the point. The movie is being made by a Danish filmmaker for the love of the music and the subject. The money is coming from a very cool newish way to raise cash for projects like this; crowd-funding. Tens, hundreds or thousands of people giving whatever they can to projects they believe in to get them off the ground. Films, music, charity etc. $5, $20, $100 at a time. Adding up until it’s large enough to light the fuse and launch a dream.

The Meschiya fundraising is run by IndieGogo but there are several other companies doing it. My friend Brian Meece is a co-founder of RocketHub in NYC and they’re getting a lot of press and praise. (He’s also part of the über cool group Brian and Silbin) It’s just such a great way to kickstart a project (Kickstarter is another) and give it a chance to be seen and picked up by a larger audience.

The Meschiya movie is short of its goal but the project is still moving along. I’ll be putting some of my money in the pot because I think it will be a great story and I think the more people who are exposed to her music, the more people will fall for her and she will “make it”. That may make it harder for Julie and I to get a spot next to the stage in the future, but that’s a risk I’ll take.

For more on Meschiya: MeschiyaLake.com

For more about the movie: True Family: The Voice of Meschiya Lake

Ignatius J Reilly

Brian — Fri, 15 Jul 2011 22:55:08 +0000

This is mainly just a test of the mobile WordPress app but this is an excellent subject for the test. Hanging in NOLA with my good buddy Ignatius.

If you’ve read A Confederacy of Dunces, you know. If not, stop what you’re doing and go pick up the book. A Falstaffian Don Quixote let loose on the Big Easy. Wonderfully hilarious. I’ll stop now so you can go read it. Seriously. Get out of here. Go!

(Oh, there’s even a statue of him in New Orleans. That’s where this was taken.)

Google+

Brian — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 23:43:57 +0000

I started playing with Google+ a couple of days ago. It’s hard to tell until I build things up a bit but so far I like what I see.

The coolest thing so far is hooking back up with some photoblog friends from a few years ago. This, that and the other has gotten me far away from regular posting on the old Panhandlin’ photoblog so I had lost touch with some really great people. I learned so much and made new friends from around the world with that blog and I didn’t really appreciate it until it was gone. (original huh:)

But maybe it’s not gone. I’m forming a circle of photography friends on G+ and I quickly remembered why I loved them so much. I don’t know what will happen with this new toy but I’ve already gotten something pretty cool out of it.

Life from a Cell

Brian — Fri, 17 Jun 2011 04:19:41 +0000

Android Holga at the Beach

I am intrigued and inspired by the constant barrage of instant images. Cameras are everywhere and what a photographic image means is evolving. Images from cell phones that are at times mundane and at times wonderful. Digital images made to resemble their antique, analog ancestors. Is it cheating? Is it fair game? Does anyone care about the how as long as the end product is an excellent image.

What an amazing wave to ride and what a journey to discover and create with new options.

Keeping People Out of the Classroom

Brian — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 23:26:37 +0000

The President’s “Back to School Message” has caused quite a stir. I read in the Pensacola News Journal that Escambia County schools are not planning to show the address because they say it will cut into valuable class time. Could be a reasonable claim in these times of constant standardized test preparation. But… let’s just say that claim struck me as odd considering a recent conversation I had with my daughter. What follows is my letter to Malcolm Thomas, Superintendent of Schools for Escambia County.

Mr. Thomas,
I appreciate what you’re doing with the school system. For what it’s worth, I voted for you and think you are doing what you feel is best for the students. But….

When I read your quote in the PNJ Friday, my jaw dropped. You say, “We’re in a district where our students struggle. We have bell-to-bell instruction, and we don’t want to waste a single minute.” Sounds nice. But…

My daughter is a middle school student in Escambia County and earlier this week she told me one of her teachers keeps a stack of magazines for the students to read in their downtime. “What magazines?” I asked. “It’s a stack of People magazines.” she says. I thought she was joking but she wasn’t. I still can’t believe it. A gossip magazine in, get this, her Language Arts class.

After I vented to my wife and calmed down, I second guessed myself. Maybe I’m over reacting. So I picked up the current issue of People. Just from the cover I get: “Kate Strikes Back” about the Jon and Kate divorce. “LeAnn & Eddie Take Their Love Public” and best of all, “Gerard & Jen, Their Sexy Night Out”. Nope. Not over reacting.

So I was in the process of figuring out if I’m going to make a big deal about this or just let it go and make sure my daughter brings other, more appropriate material with her to read during this “down time”. Then I read your quote in the article about the district not showing the President’s address. This is the point where my jaw dropped.

We don’t have time to interrupt our “bell to bell” educational schedule for an address by the President of the United States to our children about the importance of education. But we have time during the middle school day to catch up on the sex lives of Hollywood stars. That just doesn’t add up.

There may be a time and a place for gossip magazines or video games or other mindless distractions. But that time is not in the classroom.

There is also a time for vigorous political debate. But our children shouldn’t be used as pawns. My personal politics tend to lean to the left and I love a good natured debate. But even if I have differences with someone ideologically, I can still respect them as a fellow human being. We’re all just trying to do the best we can on this crazy ride. I say that to say this. I wasn’t a big fan of President Bush’s policies but I respect the man and think he was doing what he felt was best. So when he came to Pensacola for a rally at the Civic Center a few years ago, I checked my daughters out of school and took them to see the President of the United States in person. An experience I don’t think they will ever forget and an experience that both of their teachers felt was very worthwhile. The school work they missed that day was easily made up and my older daughter wrote a short essay about the day.

I realize “in person” and “on television” are different experiences but you dismiss the address by saying “We do not let teachers just watch television” like they’re watching soap operas or something. It’s the President of the United Sates. Disagreements or not, (and I have my own on policy as well) encouraging student to study hard and stay in school is always an important message. Yes, some children will be bored. Some will just parrot what they hear at home. But some may actually be inspired. It may be a version of the same message they alway hear but it carries extra weight coming from the President speaking directly to the students. But…

I guess if they don’t get to hear it from the source, they can always read about it in next week’s People Magazine. Maybe they’ll do some in depth coverage of the President’s choice of suit and tie for the address.

Thanks for your time. Have a great weekend.
Brian Butler

Mr. Thomas was kind enough to reply in a timely manner. He and the district have been bombarded with complaints over the past few days so the letter is more than likely a stock response that they have prepared. I’m okay with that, for now, understanding the immediate pressure he is under and the impossibility of replying to each individual message. I’ll address the magazine thing with him later. (He is a Facebook friend of mine:-) Here is his reply.

You are reading a few statements from a 15 minute interview.

There are numerous logistical issues with showing a live event to students across a large school district.

Some of the reasons most schools will be recording the address rather than watching the event live are:

- timing of address – the speech will occur in the middle of lunch schedules and the day after a holiday
- our district is conducting mandatory assessments in grades K through 10 on Tuesday
- the address is not time sensitive; the content does not necessarily have to be viewed in real time
- technology issues related to streaming video across the school district to all classrooms at the same moment; this may create bandwidth issues for us
- recording allows use of the address at a time of the teacher / school’s choosing; for some students / classes the address may not be appropriate for content or age
- allows the teachers time to view the material so that appropriate activities are developed to follow the media presentation

I have also recorded a video cast that discusses how the President’s address is being handled.

You can access the video clip at the following web address:

http://superintendent.escambia.k12.fl.us/video/president.wmv

Not a bad explanation. An article on the front page of today’s News Journal talked about the flap and all the emails that came in pro and con to the Superintendent’s office. The paper asked for the emails as a matter of public record and printed quotes from some of them. I was so hoping mine would be quoted but no. I guess it wasn’t inflammatory enough.

BLB

The Vanity of Hoop Dreams

Brian — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 20:35:23 +0000

I’ve been watching a lot of basketball during the playoffs. A lot. So much so it’s invading my dreams.

My number one fantasy dream has always been about basketball. In the dream, I glide across the floor and I make the sweetest, thread the needle, no look passes you’ve ever seen. I leap toward the rim and at the point in the real world where I surrender to gravity, in the dream I continue to rise. It feels incredible.

I haven’t had the dream in a while. I guess since I don’t play anymore and I’m no longer completely obsessed by the game. But I’ve been watching so much lately and the games have been so edge of your seat intense it triggered something. The dream came back. And this time I have competition.

I’m going back and forth with this guy. He’s about six inches shorter than I am and is running his mouth non-stop. Every play. Now, I don’t mind a little yacking. Good smack is the trumpet section of the hardwood symphony. But that said, this little punk is getting on my nerves.

Suddenly there was a tie up. He and I wrestling for the ball. Ref calls a jump ball. And of course little man starts poppin off about how he’s going to out jump me. Bring it. Jump circle. Ref lofts the ball. Little man somehow DOES out jump me and tips it to his man. What the… Whose dream is this?

While I’m in a “what the…” daze, I lose track of little man and he slides under the basket. His man sees him wide open and flips him the ball. Here’s where it gets fun.

Everything slows down. Little man doesn’t see me and thinks he has a free and easy layup. I know different. I can feel it. As he shoots I leave the floor and he’s mine. I go up and keep going up. I could probably just grab the shot out of the air but I’m about to teach big mouth a thing or two. So I rare back and prepare to send this shot into the stands. The ball floats. I swing as hard as I can and SMACK!!!

Julie bolts straight up out of bed in a groggy half sleep and whisper yells, “What was that!” I heard something too but I’m not sure what. I try to wake up and clear my head. Is someone breaking in the house?

Julie flips on the light and we see the noise maker. There’s a vanity next to our bed on my side. Perfumes, gels and god knows what else. I had rared back and SMACKED Julie’s hairspray bottle across the room in my sleep. Tumbled some other stuff on the vanity too. “What did you do?”

The explanation brought out a sleepy laugh and an eye roll. Julie wasn’t impressed with my defensive prowess. She was, as you may have guessed, glad I wasn’t facing toward her in bed when I enacted my revenge on little big mouth. Maybe it’s best if I sleep on the couch during the Finals.

BLB