Wordplay


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This is mainly just a test of the mobile WordPress app but this is an excellent subject for the test. Hanging in NOLA with my good buddy Ignatius.

If you’ve read A Confederacy of Dunces, you know. If not, stop what you’re doing and go pick up the book. A Falstaffian Don Quixote let loose on the Big Easy. Wonderfully hilarious. I’ll stop now so you can go read it. Seriously. Get out of here. Go!

(Oh, there’s even a statue of him in New Orleans. That’s where this was taken.)

istock_000003758518xsmall1Icing on the Cake

My daughter is working on an essay about what we can do to save the planet. Quite possibly the most popular essay topic in every school in the country right now. But that’s not the subject of this story.

She’s a very good writer and that’s not just your average proud papa talk. She’s really good. But this essay is different. It’s part of a district wide contest with the winner at each school receiving a $100 savings bond. My daughter is stressing herself out about winning the thing and I’m trying to do the parent pep-talk thing. Trying to get her to focus on writing and not worry so much about winning or losing.

“Do your best sweetie and the rest will take care of itself. So many factors play into winning or losing so try not to think about it and just do your best.” But I don’t want to completely discount the contest so I add, “If you do your best and you end up winning, it will just be icing on the cake.”

Then I get that look. Eyes squint. Lips purse. The wheels are turning and I’m in trouble. Turns out she has a problem with the well worn idiom Icing on the Cake. Seems pretty simple to me. A little something extra on top of an already good thing. Nice. But the daughter sees it differently. Maybe it says something about the times we live in or maybe it’s just our family but what she asked was this. Who eats cake without icing? To her (and quite honestly to me too) icing is not extra. It’s essential to a cake being a cake.

So she hears the opposite of what I’m trying to say. The cake is not complete without the icing. The essay is not complete without the win. I do my best to rework what I’m trying to get across and explain it a different way but now I’m just mumble-ramblin’. As I leave her room, I close the door and the discussion with, “Just do your best sweetie.”

Part of the beauty of being a dad is having this little slice of me asking questions that I have trouble answering. Looking at even the simplest, idiotic idiom in a brand new way. That is so cool.

So that was a few weeks ago and guess what, I got bailed out on this one. She won the essay competition at her school. The results came in today. I told you she was good. $100 Savings Bond and she’s going down to an awards ceremony at City Hall with the winners from the other schools in the district. She’s so happy she’s glowing. And so am I. Oh, and she’s also getting her picture made with the mayor while she’s there. I guess that’s just icing on the cake.

BLB

Class is In

Skirt Length Theory

There’s a well known (and I believe unfairly mocked) little economic indicator called the “Skirt Length Theory”. A.K.A. the “Hemline Indicator”. I’m not making this up. It’s science.

In a nutshell, it says that if the fashion of the day is trending toward long skirts and dresses, the economy is in a bearish downturn. Bad. But if short skirts are all the rage, the economy is bullish and the milk and honey flow. Good.

So there’s the answer to our current crises. Show some leg. Save the economy. As easy as 2+2 you might say. With all this talk of recession and bailouts, why are we overlooking this important economic tool. Let’s break out the mini skirts and short shorts and get this country moving again. What better way to stimulate the economy and inspire the people.

I realize we’re heading into winter and it’s not exactly bare leg season but in times like these, sacrifices must be made. Perhaps adding fishnets would provide a little warmth. Whatever it takes.

Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country. – JFK  (A big fan of short skirts.)

I’ll be doing my part. I’m shaving my legs as I write this. I wonder how short a kilt can get before it turns into a tartan mini skirt?
BLB

Short Skirts and Stocks – From History’s Hidden Engine

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